5 Ways to Beat Loneliness: How to improve your motivation and combat feelings of loneliness.
Dr. Elizabeth Jennings, OTD, OTR, c/NDT. Dr. Jennings is an Occupational Therapist with a Doctorate in Mindfulness Studies, is a Certified Mindfulness & Integrative Wellness Life Coach and has a focus in PTSD, Traumatic Brain Injuries, Anxiety and Depression, Empowerment Coach, Executive Coach, Organizational Development Leadership Coach, Master Intuitive Grief Coach
www.rememberyoumattercoaching.com
Loneliness affects millions of people. With the holidays approaching, more than ever before, now is the time to address the feelings of depression resulting from feelings of loneliness. There are many things that can be done to overcome feeling lonely. The key is to first realize how you feel and find the best strategy that works for you. Loneliness can be described as a state of mind of feeling isolated or being alone. Loneliness causes people to feel empty, alone, unwanted, and to crave human contact with others. In the 2018 CIGNA U.S Loneliness Index, a national online survey of 20,000 U.S. adults explored the impact of loneliness in the U.S. The survey revealed that most Americans are considered lonely, as measured by a score of 43 or higher on the UCLA Loneliness Scale, a 20-item questionnaire was developed to assess subjective feelings of loneliness as well as social isolation. Nearly half (1:2) of Americans reported sometimes or always feeling alone (46%) or left out (47%). One in four (1:4) Americans (27%) reported rarely or never feeling as though there are people who really understood them. One and five (1:5) people reported that they rarely or never feel close to people (20%) or felt like there were people they could talk to (18%).
Why do people feel lonely?
People feel lonely based on various situations or circumstances they encounter. Some common situations that can cause one to feel lonely include physical isolation, relocation, divorce, death or loss of a close person or relationship. Some psychosocial or psychological factors that can cause people to feel lonely include:
● Depression, low self-esteem, and low self-confidence due to feeling unworthy or lacking a desire to establish connections with other people.
● Lack of meaningful in-person social interactions, such as having daily conversations with a friend or spending quality time with family.
Lifestyle habits and routines have an impact on feelings of loneliness.
People who reported feeling less lonely reported the following lifestyle habits and routines on the loneliness scale: adequate sleep, engagement in physical activity, meaningful time spent with friends and family, and working just enough. People who reported having positive life routines had lower loneliness scores than those with opposite lifestyle patterns:
● Regular, meaningful, in-person interactions.
● Good overall physical and mental health.
● Employed and had good relationships with their coworkers.
● Found balance in their daily activities, including getting the right amount of sleep, socialization, and work/life balance.
Five tangible ways to overcome loneliness.
So how can people overcome loneliness? How can people start to feel more connected to others? Here are 5 steps that can be taken to overcome feelings of loneliness:
#1 Acknowledge feelings of loneliness- In order to take proactive steps to overcome loneliness, people have to be willing to not suffer in silence. Acknowledging feelings of loneliness is key to bringing awareness to unhealthy thought patterns that might be developing, to avoid the feelings that come with loneliness. Journaling is a great step to starting the process of acknowledging how someone is feeling. Journaling is a non judgemental way for self-expression using a safe medium. Expressing feelings through journaling also makes it easier to begin to talk to others honestly about feelings of loneliness and to get additional help if needed.
#2 Connect- Loneliness refers to a state of mind of not feeling connected to others. Another option to overcome loneliness is to start connecting on a smaller level. This might look like making a list of people who have value in your life and writing their names on a piece of paper or journal. Next, consider sending a text message or making a call to the name(s) on the list who you would like to connect with. Virtual or video calls are also an option for those who have access to the internet and can download a free virtual app such as zoom, google meet up, or facetime).
#3 Practice Self- Care- Besides working to connect with others, do not overlook the benefits of getting active, healthy eating, proper sleep, sunlight, and meditation for fighting loneliness. Self-Care needs vary for different people. Some common areas to address in regards to self care are listed below.
● Get Active- Exercise and physical activity can trigger endorphins in the brain and can elevate and improve mood and make people feel better. Exercise can include going for walks with friends, family, or coworkers, practicing yoga, gentle stretching, or weight lifting. Another simple and fun way to get active is turning on music and dancing.
● Healthy Eating- The foods that people eat can impact both their physical health and emotional health. It is important to be mindful of the amount of sugar intake and processed foods consumed because both can have a negative impact on thoughts and feelings. By being more conscious of the foods consumed and the way that your body feels after eating, you will notice an improvement in the way you feel and your state of mind.
● Get Proper Sleep- Quality sleep and rest is connected to improvements in emotional health and well-being. Lack of sleep can contribute to feelings of loneliness, fatigue, and lack of desire to make connections or engage in activities that will combat the state of mind of feeling lonely. Some practical ways to improve sleep are to restrict caffeine before bed, turn off technology before going to sleep, and try to make sure your bedroom is quiet and dark during bedtime.
● Get Sunlight- Sunlight and spending time outdoors can also stimulate both endorphins and serotonin hormones which have positive effects on emotions and can help combat the feelings of loneliness.
● Practice Meditation- Meditation centers our thoughts and allows people to learn to focus on the things they truly want more of in their life. If there is a desire to feel happy and connected and if one meditates on those thoughts, then the energy put out will bring more of what is desired into your life and world.
#4 Volunteer or Serve: Focus on the needs of others by finding a volunteer opportunity to contribute your time and energy. Working alongside others to serve a cause can help to fight feelings of loneliness and provide purpose. Volunteer activities can ease stress, reduce feelings of depression, help individuals make friends and connect with others, and make people feel happier. Some volunteer ideas include: volunteering at a senior or nursing home, children’s hospital, kid’s school, homeless shelter, or an animal shelter.
#5 Create or Make Things- Tapping into creative energy and outlets can help to bring about feelings of satisfaction, accomplishment, and joy from starting and completing something that has meaning. There are several ways you can explore the creative energy inside through writing, blogging, painting, coloring, building, or making jewelry. Here is a list of additional ideas to practice to unleash your creativity.
https://www.cigna.com/assets/docs/newsroom/loneliness-survey-2018-factsheet.pdf
https://www.cigna.com/individuals-families/health-wellness/how-to-deal-with -loneliness
https://www.inc.com/kevin-j-ryan/steve-case-startup-hubs-silicon-valley-visi on-2020.html